Dear friends,

The four needs all people have in the workplace—to be seen, to be respected, to be valued, and to be protected—are foundational to the workplace wellness methodology The Waymakers Change Group created called The Way. Our research and our clients’ results prove that when leaders are intentional about consistently meeting these needs for all people, both business results and people thrive.

In last week’s newsletter, we learned from Brandon that being seen at work is a key factor in attracting and keeping talent. This week, we’ll take a deep dive into the second workplace need all people have, which is the need to feel respected.

Respect (and Disrespect) at Work

Inclusive workplaces are not possible without respect. And if you’ve heard our CEO, Tara Jaye Frank, speak or participated in one of our leadership change experiences, then you know that respect at work does not mean—and has never meant—being

In everyday life, respect means displaying common courtesy, acknowledging a person’s presence, responding to needs in ways the other person values and appreciates, and listening to their advice when that advice is rooted in experience. Respect also looks like honoring boundaries.

At work, respect means appreciating a person for their unique perspectives and abilities, trusting them to contribute to work in meaningful ways, and tapping into their expertise. It includes consideration for the person, what they know, what they’ve done, and how they add value. Respect at work is an acknowledgment of an employee’s capability and credibility. It makes us feel trusted by colleagues and leaders, and helps us see ourselves as equal to others with whom we work, which affirms we are in the right place and empowers us to perform at higher levels.

In stark contrast, disrespect makes us question our commitment—to our work, our leader, and our organization. It makes us second-guess ourselves and feel “less-than” or unimportant. Disrespect at work can look and sound like microaggressions (which are not micro at all), verbal disrespect (yelling, offensive language, gossiping), nonverbal disrespect (eye-rolling, ignoring), disregarding boundaries, and unfair treatment (unequal pay, overlooked for promotion, etc.).

The Consequences of Disrespect

When employees feel disrespected, they can harbor resentment toward the individual who disrespected them and their workplace for allowing the disrespect to go unchecked. Disrespect is also damaging to a person’s impression of themselves; it damages their psyche and causes them to, at times, question their reality. As a result, they consider—or take steps toward—doing “just enough” until they find something better (quiet quitting).

As explained in The Waymakers book, there are distinct differences among men, women, and groups on varying spectrums of difference in how they perceive disrespect and how they respond to it. But in the end, the immediate and long-term impact of disrespect at work—across differences—correlates to a separation between employees and their companies. In other words, if leaders disrespect them, employees will leave.

Imagine, then, being in Gene’s shoes when his mentee, Crys, tells him, “I had a conversation with my manager today. I have never felt so disrespected in my life. I’m not sure I can stay here. If I do, I certainly won’t be giving as much as I have in the past.”

As you can imagine, Gene had a lot of unpacking to do there. After listening actively and following up with a few thoughtful questions, the situation became clearer. Crys shared with her manager that she was going through cancer treatment. Her manager’s response: “You’re one of our most prolific producers. You’ll still be expected to deliver on-time, client-ready work.” That reply was not what Crys needed or expected. Her manager treated her as a commodity, a resource, not a person. Where was the empathy? Where was the respect for her 10 years of service? For her expertise? For her loyalty to her leader, her team and the company?

Skills to Help All People Feel Respected

While it’s true that people interpret respect and disrespect differently, leaders can into three key leadership skills to ensure all employees feel respected: inclusion consciousness, bridge-building, and co-creating.

Inclusion Consciousness
Crys’ manager could have tapped into inclusion consciousness to recognize that at this vulnerable time in her life and career, Crys needed to feel she was not alone. The manager could have provided Crys with a more flexible work schedule to accommodate treatment appointments. Perhaps her manager could have paired Crys with a more junior person to assist Crys with her work. This would elevate Crys as a mentor and teacher while ensuring she had assistance with work when needed. Inclusion consciousness would help the manager keep Crys engaged yet supported by her team members and the company.

Bridge-building
Creating common ground and navigating cross-boundary connections via empathy cultivates respect. The manager shouldn’t have to have cancer to feel empathy for Crys. “I don’t know what you’re going through, but I’m here to help however I can. Tell me what you need” would go a lot further than ignoring her diagnosis or focusing only on the work. The manager could have connected Crys with an employee resource group for those living with cancer or asked how she’d like the team to best support her. Her leader could even seek out their own resources for how to best support employees with a cancer diagnosis, which would have facilitated connection and shown more respect for Crys as a person.

Co-creating
When we ask talent for their opinions on business issues or invite them to contribute to an important project or work alongside them to solve problems, we demonstrate that we respect both their presence and their work. Crys’ manager could have offered: “Let’s work together on a plan that will help you focus on getting better while honoring your expertise on our team.”

Friends, respect is a foundational need for all people, but not all people feel respected at work—or in the world. Especially today. That is a fact we cannot take for granted. As leaders, we need to intentionally and continually ensure people feel respected in our workplaces. If we don’t, we should not be surprised when they disengage, quit quietly, or leave.

Thankfully, Crys’ manager realized the error of her ways and apologized to Crys that very afternoon for her insensitive gut reaction. She then leaned into inclusion consciousness, bridge-building, and co-creation to ensure Crys felt respected and supported through her cancer journey. Not only did Crys have a more positive update for Gene at their next mentor-mentee session, but after her successful cancer treatment, Crys felt even more loyalty toward her manager and team. When we leverage those same skills, plus the power and influence we have as leaders to ensure all people have what they need to thrive, we show employees that we respect who they are as people and the experiences and perspectives they bring to our companies.

How are you ensuring all people on your team feel respected? Share your successes with us via LinkedIn. They may help others along their Waymaking journey.

Until next time, when we tackle how to help all people feel valued, keep making a way.

The Waymakers Change Group